Light-hearted Thinkers Pillows

"FREEDOM!!!"

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Get crazy once in a while

At the 2021 Religious Games

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

"We're making progress."

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

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"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

'I had multiple personalities.'

"Hemorrhoids. Any other questions?!"

The Invention of the Tea Light

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

Goldie playing chess. Check.

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

"Life's too short to be taken seriously..."

Why as a general rule Pastors are not allowed to help on building work days.

"Yes, Gramps, we agreed to follow 'until death do us part' with the caveat that we might be placed in separate wings of the assisted living facility."

'Take it for stress. It helps to laugh at yourself.'

"Excuse me...is there a dressing room with a slimming mirror and soft light..."

'I'm not applauding your lovemaking, I'm trying to turn off the lights.'

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."