Light-hearted Thinkers Pillows

"FREEDOM!!!"

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"This stool shall pass."

At the 2021 Religious Games

Get crazy once in a while

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"We're making progress."

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

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'I had multiple personalities.'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

"Hemorrhoids. Any other questions?!"

Goldie playing chess. Check.

The Invention of the Tea Light

"Life's too short to be taken seriously..."

"Yes, Gramps, we agreed to follow 'until death do us part' with the caveat that we might be placed in separate wings of the assisted living facility."

"Excuse me...is there a dressing room with a slimming mirror and soft light..."

If there are eclipses of the sun and eclipses of the moon, how come there are never any eclipses of the earth? Can we continue this tomorrow? It's getting dark.

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

"Your performance review will be done with the help of a co-host to lighten the mood a little."

'Take it for stress. It helps to laugh at yourself.'

'I'm not applauding your lovemaking, I'm trying to turn off the lights.'

Golf ball escaping.

Why as a general rule Pastors are not allowed to help on building work days.