Light-hearted Philosopher Pillows

"You da man!"

"Someone stole my anti-depressant pills. I hope they're happy now!"

"Don't go to the light, Ned!"

"Yes, Gramps, we agreed to follow 'until death do us part' with the caveat that we might be placed in separate wings of the assisted living facility."

'Try some -- it's 'om mani padme hummus.''

"Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the only alternative..."

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

Just Asleep.

'I'm on my break right now -- can you come back next February?'

'Thank you for choosing heaven - we hope you have a pleasant stay.'

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

"I died of old age, an eighty year old in an invalid scooter knocked me over."

"No, you can't go back for your sports magazine's swimsuit issue."

"Would you please knock off the boooring chant?!!"

"I'm going to the corner for a pack of cigarettes, then I'm going somewhere I can smoke them."

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

At the 2021 Religious Games

Get crazy once in a while

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

Going Down?

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"FREEDOM!!!"

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

The Meaning of Life

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'