Lion-hearted Leader Gifts

'I hear your performance is roaring.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'Same here, we have a female C.E.O., too.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

Senior Partner works at a desk, sign on wall behind her says 'Ms. Davis senior partner - formerly: 'Hey You'.

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

Wrong leadership.

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

Manager - I don't just manage, I excel!

"Damn it, name a figure, name a figure."

"Now that we reinvented ourselves, who do you think should run the company?"

Personal Assistants.

'We're looking for a CEO who would be willing to take the rap.'

"It's hard to manage a staff meeting in a company whose employees all have laser pointers."

"In preparation for his appearance before the foundation board, Rodney fine-tunes his song and dance."

Really? You're hiring me back to replace the robot you just replaced me with? I've had a change of heart, minion. It may be cheaper to automate my café. But it dawned on me that robots don't buy very many drinks. Plus, as much as I try to let the bottom line guide me, I am, deep down, a very compassionate man. I couldn't bear the thought of you being poor and miserable. Maybe he's not such a bad man. Plus, one accidental incineration of a customer and the authorities get all weird about it.

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

Change, Change, Change, Change.

'It basically boils down to you need to do stuff better.'

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

Minister Starts at a New Church

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

'I feel a leader should be approachable.'

'I've gone from King of the Jungle to team leader.'

Obama

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

'Good work is it's own reward, but delegation is even better.'

Leadership never hibernates.

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'