Gentle Leader Gifts

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

"In preparation for his appearance before the foundation board, Rodney fine-tunes his song and dance."

Really? You're hiring me back to replace the robot you just replaced me with? I've had a change of heart, minion. It may be cheaper to automate my café. But it dawned on me that robots don't buy very many drinks. Plus, as much as I try to let the bottom line guide me, I am, deep down, a very compassionate man. I couldn't bear the thought of you being poor and miserable. Maybe he's not such a bad man. Plus, one accidental incineration of a customer and the authorities get all weird about it.

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

Lance, I know I'm lying down on the job, but

'It's not a bad little kingdom - as kingdoms go.'

'Not in here, stupid - I don't need to!'

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

'Welcome to our first ever... Casual Sunday.'

'Management is all about 'empathy', about developing positive, supportive and healthy relationships with colleagues and staff... and if you can't get that through your thick skull then you'll be as useless as you look!'

Wheels for all purposes.

"We're just like one big happy family here."

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

Obama Snack...

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

Why as a general rule Pastors are not allowed to help on building work days.

"Your performance review will be done with the help of a co-host to lighten the mood a little."

"I'm a type B personality in a type A large business."

'Believe me, Luci, it's hard being a boss! You want to be everyone's friend...but you can't...I wonder what you'll be when you grow up...'

"Lately, I've begun to question your decision-making process, Markham."

"I don't want to rush things. Instead of hugging, why don't we just hold hands?"

'Don't tell me I've forgotten it's Causal Friday..?'

'I think you're our kind of people.'

'The head of our script department!'

'To motivate every single employee is one of the main principles of my management style. Well, if you don't meet the sales targets, you'll get sentenced to death.'

A bridge between the 'haves' and the 'have nots' crumbles.

"Well I, for one, find comfort in your God-like leadership."

This house needs rules! ...so if you think of any you want to live by, just let us know.

"He who leads least leads best!"

"Good job jumping through hoops for me. Now set them on fire."

'...Oh, and I bought some new smalls in town...'

'We wanted to show a much more caring and sharing, less profit driven side of the corporation...'