Gentle Disciplinarian Gifts

This house needs rules! ...so if you think of any you want to live by, just let us know.

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"Don't even think about it."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

"Use your phone once more during dinner...And I'll send you close-ups of my patients' wounds."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"No, I said 'sit'."

"Mommy needs to get mad at you in a weird calm voice now."

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

"Worms."

Discipline at Doggy School

'The principal says her door is always open, until it slams shut when you're in there!'

"How do I keep my kids in line? I threaten to rent out the space under their beds to monsters."

"...And to those who have been naughty he doesn't bring any coal, just presents."

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

"We tell our kids to drink, smoke, dabble in recreational drugs and get a tattoo. Because they always do exactly the opposite of what we say."

"Don’t you dare talk to your father in all caps young lady!"

"You just wait until your father gets home and adjusts your algorithm!"

The company gym's down the hall, but your resolve will be tested by running the gauntlet of snack machines.

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

Give a dog a bad name.....

'Our Damien was right, he is a very strict teacher!'

"Mommy is going to stay 'On Message'. 'No'"

Stupid cell phone. One more thing he hated about walking her yappy little dog.

Kid to kid: 'I had my sentence reduced to a couple of hours in my room.'

"Thank goodness, I always keep my person on a leash."

'Your loyalty is unquestionable, but you just don't seem to be able to learn new procedures.'