Mirthful Lawyer Gifts

"Innocent, your honor."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

"Let's take in a trial."

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

Clive Anderson

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XII

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

'After living together for ten years, we now realize that the only thing we have in common, is common law.'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

Computer questionning a witness.

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'Is it just me or are we showing more leg this year?'

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

"Talk to Freddy. He handles my malpractice suits."

Melting snowman tries to hitch a ride north.

'May I see some photo ID?'

'Nurse! The chart says comatose, not comb his toes!'

'The second opinion I got advised me to sue you for malpractice.'

'Your wife got the house and the puppies.. but I managed to get you all the buried bones.'

'You're a doctor and you were making a house call? -- You expect anybody to believe that alibi?'

"If you want to win this case, you're going to need a magician."

"Says here you like to play practical jokes..."

"I'm only doing this job because I feel sorry for my Legal Aid lawyer."

'I knew it was easy, but I didn't realize it was ILLEGAL to take candy from a baby.'

"You were caught stealing on 15 separate security cameras. How do you plead?"