Love Accountants Pillows

'It's not the age difference, Larry - it's the wage difference.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Wall St. or True Love.

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

" A lot of it is just legal mumbo-jumbo."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

Overdraft limit.

Same sex families - it's about love, not sex, after all...

I am billing, therefore I am.

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

"Good God! Has the dollar fallen that far?"

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

Toys - Business Model.

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

Lover's leap and Infatuation leap.

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."