Love Absurdist Gifts

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Extreme Sisyphus

Nonsense Poem

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

Eugene Ionesco

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

I want to be a lawn!

No Double Parking

That's It

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

A Centaur Taking A Shower

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

"I can't wait to post this."

"I'll be back in an hour—do not play with the weapons."

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

PODs Venn Diagram

The sudden extinction of Neanderclowns

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

'Now that's what I call an overactive thyroid.'

G.K. Chesterton.

"This isn't a donor heart. It's a tuna on rye."

The End is Near. Have A Cone.