Love Absurdist Pillows

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Extreme Sisyphus

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Nonsense Poem

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

Eugene Ionesco

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

I want to be a lawn!

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

A Centaur Taking A Shower

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

PODs Venn Diagram

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

"I'll be back in an hour—do not play with the weapons."

"I can't wait to post this."

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

'Now that's what I call an overactive thyroid.'

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

G.K. Chesterton.