Artful Absurdist Gifts

Paul Verlaine

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Nonsense Poem

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

I want to be a lawn!

'Normally, seafood is good for you.'

No Double Parking

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

"I'll be back in an hour—do not play with the weapons."

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

"I can't wait to post this."

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"

The sudden extinction of Neanderclowns

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

G.K. Chesterton.

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

The very rare and elusive Eskimo turtle.

"If we pull this off, we've made burglary history!"

'Going down?'

'This is the biggest belly button in the world.'

Hammock for Man on Desert Island with Single Tree

"It's good luck."

Waiting for Godot - waiting room.

Shrinking beggar.

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

God has an attack of vertigo

Have you seen this toaster?