Absurdist Art Gifts

'I wonder how you flush this thing?'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

'Normally, seafood is good for you.'

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

"I can't wait to post this."

"I'll be back in an hour—do not play with the weapons."

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"

G.K. Chesterton.

"Day 1: Back in the carrier."

"Do you think he'll bring treats?"

The very rare and elusive Eskimo turtle.

Hammock for Man on Desert Island with Single Tree

Apple white paint results in pictures of apples.

Paul Verlaine

"It's good luck."

'Going down?'

"Fascinating, a dollop of dog crap topped with jelly babies. yes, he's years ahead of his time."

God has an attack of vertigo

Have you seen this toaster?

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

"On your left."

Jesus snowblows a cloud.

Overkill

"Honey, did you incorporate our entire home into one of your zany health smoothies."