Absurdist Artist Gifts

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Nonsense Poem

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

'Normally, seafood is good for you.'

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

"I'll be back in an hour—do not play with the weapons."

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

"I can't wait to post this."

G.K. Chesterton.

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

"Do you think he'll bring treats?"

'Going down?'

Hammock for Man on Desert Island with Single Tree

Paul Verlaine

"It's good luck."

"If we pull this off, we've made burglary history!"

Have you seen this toaster?

Shrinking beggar.

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."