Absurd Art Gifts

A horse contemplates what to wear

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Barcode Dreams

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

'Normally, seafood is good for you.'

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

"I'll be back in an hour—do not play with the weapons."

'Not as easy as it looks?"

Hammock for Man on Desert Island with Single Tree

Paul Verlaine

"Day 1: Back in the carrier."

Apple white paint results in pictures of apples.

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

"Fascinating, a dollop of dog crap topped with jelly babies. yes, he's years ahead of his time."

'I wonder how you flush this thing?'

Man crawling on desert see a dry cleaners in distance.

Have you seen this toaster?

God has an attack of vertigo

A toaster plays fetch

Jesus snowblows a cloud.

Overkill

'Well, actually I DO have a small tree growing out of my head!'

A person is catching bird poo on a blank canvas to make portraits.

Flamingo in a poncho

Cow-in-a-Can!

"Honey, did you incorporate our entire home into one of your zany health smoothies."

'Looks like we're going to need a taller scaffold.'

Lost Angel Wings