Lotion Applier Gifts

Man using a roller paintbrush to put on sunblock.

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

What do you think of the application so far?

'I really love this stuff, but I still have a lot of trouble with sushi.'

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

Bureaucratic Position Interview

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

'Mildred....is that you?'

Beach goer squeezes sun block tube and a t-shirt pops out.

'Please Pass the Moon Tan Lotion.'

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

"As you can see, hands are about to hit peak dryness, so we're predicting record lotion sales for next quarter."

The entire family

"Start Monday...I like the cut of your jib, young man"

"I must admit, I thought I had seen every type of 'attention grabbing' resume out there, but this..."

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

'The good news is Prof. Trockenficker has found the secret of eternal youth. The bad news is it will make everybody look exactly like him.'

'Glorious day'

"I see we're all going into this interview a little superstitious."

'How long have you been out of work? I've never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

Just stop (macassar) oil

'I've tried everything. My skin is still as dry as an elephant's trunk.'

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"I love the smell of lip balm in the morning."

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

"We're headin' into town. 'Course I'm gonna moisturize."

"I'd like to go somewhere with warm water, balmy breezes and no extradition treaty."

After an argument they always kissed and made up.

"With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!"

'It's MURDER putting on make-up with no reflection!'