Application Artist Gifts

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

'There are probably hundreds of people out there who could have the job but I think we've got the right person.'

"I must admit, I thought I had seen every type of 'attention grabbing' resume out there, but this..."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"Isn't there an app for this?"

Convenience.

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'Yes, it is large for a smart phone, but then it does do absolutely everything.'

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

God's Phone

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"What's most exciting about NFTs is the opportunity for dynamic new content."

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

Gym. I don't need to exercise --- I have an ab crunch on my smart phone!

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

What do you think of the application so far?

I have an idea for a new app: It'll tell you what your dog is thinking. What? How? Through a sensor planted in the dog's collar. Every time it barks, whines or sighs, the sensor will beam an English translation to your phone. It'll either say "feed me," "walk me," "I need to potty," or "leave me alone," or a random combination of those. That sounds like the most useless app ever. It'll also shout "I'm running!" when the dog is running.

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

"I THINK I've got an app for that!"

I can record our game. Big deal. Mine can get everyone's stats plus find sales on bats and gloves. Wow! It does everything! Teddy! Except catch the ball. Isn't there an app for that?

"What a coincidence. I'm downloading the 'Can Take It With You' app, too."

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

Bureaucratic Position Interview

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."