Lotion Lovers Gifts

"As you can see, hands are about to hit peak dryness, so we're predicting record lotion sales for next quarter."

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Kissing the Fish

First love.

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"Abra-Viagra."

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

"I'm addicted to water."

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

'Please Pass the Moon Tan Lotion.'

'Mildred....is that you?'

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

Beach goer squeezes sun block tube and a t-shirt pops out.

Modern day mirror.

"Why do you wear green lipstick?"

'So Grandma's arrived then.'

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

'Well if you can't make me look like Cameron Diaz, just re-apply my lipstick and touch-up my mascara thanks.'

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

Just stop (macassar) oil

'The good news is Prof. Trockenficker has found the secret of eternal youth. The bad news is it will make everybody look exactly like him.'

'Was that your signature kiss?'

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

Magic Potion Micro-Brewers

The entire family

'This isn't going to be practical until somebody invents moisturizer.'

"I love the smell of lip balm in the morning."