Lotion Lover Gifts

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'Please Pass the Moon Tan Lotion.'

Beach goer squeezes sun block tube and a t-shirt pops out.

'Did we bring enough lotion because the ancient curse of the mummy is very dry skin!'

"We're headin' into town. 'Course I'm gonna moisturize."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

First love.

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

My first mistake.

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

"I'm addicted to water."

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

"Pretty label... shiny bottle... I'll take it!"

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

"Why do you wear green lipstick?"

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

'Mildred....is that you?'

Modern day mirror.

'So Grandma's arrived then.'

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

"As you can see, hands are about to hit peak dryness, so we're predicting record lotion sales for next quarter."

'Well if you can't make me look like Cameron Diaz, just re-apply my lipstick and touch-up my mascara thanks.'

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

'The good news is Prof. Trockenficker has found the secret of eternal youth. The bad news is it will make everybody look exactly like him.'

Just stop (macassar) oil

'Was that your signature kiss?'

The entire family