Lotion Lover Gifts

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'Please Pass the Moon Tan Lotion.'

Beach goer squeezes sun block tube and a t-shirt pops out.

'Did we bring enough lotion because the ancient curse of the mummy is very dry skin!'

"We're headin' into town. 'Course I'm gonna moisturize."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

First love.

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

My first mistake.

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"I'm addicted to water."

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

"Pretty label... shiny bottle... I'll take it!"

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

'Mildred....is that you?'

"Why do you wear green lipstick?"

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

Modern day mirror.

'So Grandma's arrived then.'

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

'Well if you can't make me look like Cameron Diaz, just re-apply my lipstick and touch-up my mascara thanks.'

"As you can see, hands are about to hit peak dryness, so we're predicting record lotion sales for next quarter."

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

'The good news is Prof. Trockenficker has found the secret of eternal youth. The bad news is it will make everybody look exactly like him.'

The entire family

'Was that your signature kiss?'

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

Just stop (macassar) oil