Lotion Applier Pillows

Man using a roller paintbrush to put on sunblock.

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

What do you think of the application so far?

'I really love this stuff, but I still have a lot of trouble with sushi.'

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

Bureaucratic Position Interview

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

Beach goer squeezes sun block tube and a t-shirt pops out.

'Please Pass the Moon Tan Lotion.'

'Mildred....is that you?'

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

"As you can see, hands are about to hit peak dryness, so we're predicting record lotion sales for next quarter."

'How long have you been out of work? I've never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

'Glorious day'

"I must admit, I thought I had seen every type of 'attention grabbing' resume out there, but this..."

'The good news is Prof. Trockenficker has found the secret of eternal youth. The bad news is it will make everybody look exactly like him.'

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

"I see we're all going into this interview a little superstitious."

"Start Monday...I like the cut of your jib, young man"

Just stop (macassar) oil

The entire family

"I love the smell of lip balm in the morning."

"I'd like to go somewhere with warm water, balmy breezes and no extradition treaty."

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"We're headin' into town. 'Course I'm gonna moisturize."

'I've tried everything. My skin is still as dry as an elephant's trunk.'

"With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!"

After an argument they always kissed and made up.

Weed -B- Going. Weed -B- Going. Weed -B- Gone.