Long-time Worker Gifts

27 Years in the same Vocation.

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"His goal is to outlive rock and roll!"

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

"In recognition of your long service, we'd like you to have this clock you've had your eye on since you walked in here all those years ago."

'While we appreciate company loyalty, Larson, you should really be in the hospital.'

Dead Silence: a restaurant for married people

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

You know you've been working at the same place too long when you get dusted before the file board

"Get a computer?! Do I look as though I have room in here for a computer?"

Next years calendar.

"I'm going to check out a couple of antiques." "Good luck with your breast exam."

'And then there's Jeffries... He's been with the company longer than anyone. You know where all the bodies are buried, eh, Jeffries? Ha Ha! Keep up the great work!'

A pledge of affection. - young lady asking her husband for roast pork for dinner

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

'Look, it's like I told you yesterday, if you want to invest in mutual funds you've got to start thinking long-term.' (Man wearing sign saying 'The End is Nigh').

'Yours is an inspiring tale of struggle, self-sacrifice and company loyalty. I suppose my question is, so what?'

"Yes, and the fact that you've been an outstanding employee for twenty-five years is going to look great on your résumé."

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"

"I secretly put decaf in my office coffeemaker so all of my coworkers work at my speed.'

I was considered a part time employee since I only worked one night a year and thus wasn't eligible for the pension plan, so here I am in my golden years.

"Dear, what are your thoughts on gay marriage?" "All for it. They should suffer like the rest of us."

husband bites wife's arm in bed and dentures come out

"Let's face it, Babe. . . you aren't the men you used to be."

"After so many years of marriage what are you getting for your anniversary?" "Drunk."