Retired Worker Gifts

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

I was considered a part time employee since I only worked one night a year and thus wasn't eligible for the pension plan, so here I am in my golden years.

"I busted unions for 30 years until the company tossed me out without a pension."

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

Retirement

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Since being semi-retired everything I do is half-assed."

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'I am not doing nothing ... I am perfecting inertia.'

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Happy Retirement

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

Best Scapegoat

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

"Death coach..."