Loyal Worker Gifts

'Yours is an inspiring tale of struggle, self-sacrifice and company loyalty. I suppose my question is, so what?'

Others will fight for you

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

I've given you 110 for ten years, like you asked. Now I'm taking that year off that I've earned!

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

Personal Assistants.

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

'We'd like to show you our appreciation of your many years of dedicated service to this company...But first we need to know what your name is and what it is you do around here!'

'What's my secret? I never left work last night.'

"You've been a virtuous employee, Thornhill, and that is it's own reward."

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"Holidays with the family... Boss, I'm so happy to be back again! May I do some unpaid extra hours please?"

'He has a weak character. Notice how easily he lets his work distract him?'

Football addict

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

"I need for you to go to bat for me again, Tim. And this time, could you do it without adjusting yourself?"

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

"I'm really impressed with your work ethic."

'We're still crazy then ...'

'While we appreciate company loyalty, Larson, you should really be in the hospital.'

"You go the extra mile for us, but in the wrong direction."

'Herbie dear, why can't you ever forget the office?!'

'Your propensity for hard work is having a negative effect on the other employees, Simpkins!'

"I was in the office an hour early this morning."

'Most loyal employee in my department.'

'-and for fifty years undying loyalty to the company...'

"At least you get to wake up from your nightmares."

Republicans have me feeling reflective about capitalism, in a good way. Uh, oh. You've been with the company 20 years. I appreciate that kind of loyalty. I just want you to know that. Thanks. It also makes me realize that you have few other job options and thus are more or less subject to my whims regarding pay and benefits. Okay, pep talk over. Enjoy your day. Hang on, I could maybe possibly get a job at Coffee King!

'That's 12 games in a row. As my best friend, it wouldn't kill you to let me win one every once in awhile.'

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

"I like getting to work on time. I just wish someone was here to appreciate it."

"You're all work and no play. You're my kind of employee!"

"Are you a platinum card member?"