Company Loyalist Gifts

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

Others will fight for you

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

"Please feel free to browse."

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

"Holidays with the family... Boss, I'm so happy to be back again! May I do some unpaid extra hours please?"

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

'While we appreciate company loyalty, Larson, you should really be in the hospital.'

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

"I need for you to go to bat for me again, Tim. And this time, could you do it without adjusting yourself?"

Ball and Chain

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

Replica Football Merchandise

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

Republicans have me feeling reflective about capitalism, in a good way. Uh, oh. You've been with the company 20 years. I appreciate that kind of loyalty. I just want you to know that. Thanks. It also makes me realize that you have few other job options and thus are more or less subject to my whims regarding pay and benefits. Okay, pep talk over. Enjoy your day. Hang on, I could maybe possibly get a job at Coffee King!

"I know he is now our richest client but he is very loyal!"

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

"Yeah you've always been loyal, so what? You're fired."

'Before the meeting starts let's all sing the company song.'