Long-time Worker Pillows

27 Years in the same Vocation.

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"His goal is to outlive rock and roll!"

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'While we appreciate company loyalty, Larson, you should really be in the hospital.'

"In recognition of your long service, we'd like you to have this clock you've had your eye on since you walked in here all those years ago."

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

Dead Silence: a restaurant for married people

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

Republicans have me feeling reflective about capitalism, in a good way. Uh, oh. You've been with the company 20 years. I appreciate that kind of loyalty. I just want you to know that. Thanks. It also makes me realize that you have few other job options and thus are more or less subject to my whims regarding pay and benefits. Okay, pep talk over. Enjoy your day. Hang on, I could maybe possibly get a job at Coffee King!

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

You know you've been working at the same place too long when you get dusted before the file board

"Get a computer?! Do I look as though I have room in here for a computer?"

Next years calendar.

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

"I'm going to check out a couple of antiques." "Good luck with your breast exam."

I'm finishing my memoirs. There's a chapter about us. What us? There was never any us. It's just a memoir. I have some artistic license. Do you want to be my wife or just my doting longtime girlfriend? Some people can't stand seeing their lives in print.

'And then there's Jeffries... He's been with the company longer than anyone. You know where all the bodies are buried, eh, Jeffries? Ha Ha! Keep up the great work!'

A pledge of affection. - young lady asking her husband for roast pork for dinner

'Look, it's like I told you yesterday, if you want to invest in mutual funds you've got to start thinking long-term.' (Man wearing sign saying 'The End is Nigh').

'Yours is an inspiring tale of struggle, self-sacrifice and company loyalty. I suppose my question is, so what?'

"I secretly put decaf in my office coffeemaker so all of my coworkers work at my speed.'

I was considered a part time employee since I only worked one night a year and thus wasn't eligible for the pension plan, so here I am in my golden years.

husband bites wife's arm in bed and dentures come out

"Dear, what are your thoughts on gay marriage?" "All for it. They should suffer like the rest of us."

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"

"Yes, and the fact that you've been an outstanding employee for twenty-five years is going to look great on your résumé."

"Ralph and Ted go back a long way"

"Let's face it, Babe. . . you aren't the men you used to be."