Long-term Relationship Expert Gifts

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. George changed the toilet roll yesterday!"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Reading the sports pages.

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

'You've changed since we got married.'

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"Just tell us who's winning."

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"Does it say 'I'm ovulating'?"

"All parents fight."