Long-term Relationship Expert Gifts

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. George changed the toilet roll yesterday!"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Reading the sports pages.

'I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, Frank!'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"I'll bet there's a story there."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"Just tell us who's winning."

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Does it say 'I'm ovulating'?"

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"All parents fight."

"The secret of our relationship? Easy. She just acts as if I don't even exist."