In A Long-term Relationship Gifts

"Turn and run, princess! Don't walk into that church, you can do so much better than him!"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

So Close..

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

Reading the sports pages.

Missing You.

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"...is somebody playing Wonderwall?"

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"You knew I was a migratory bird when you married."

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

A planet like ours - Penguin to camel - "It wouldn't work either way my darling. I'm getting sunburnt out here and back home you'd freeze to death."

Kathleen felt she was stuck between Iraq and a heart place.

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"