Relationship Experts Gifts

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

The causes of mood swings are generally hormonal..

'Yes, I've heard long-married couples tend to look alike, but I'm not sure about the dress alike part.'

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

"This time, she went too far."

"We used to finish each other's sentences; now we start them."

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Mavis, why do you always say it's nothing when clearly it's something?"

'Two can live as cheaply as one, but I refuse to live with a cheapskate.'

Advertising hoarding proposing marriage (which is rejected).

'You're sexy when your mind is somewhere else.'

'This is my wife, Viola, who I've been happily married to for twenty five years.'

'My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate, so I got two girlfriends.'

"Objection overruled."

"Surely I'm allowed an opinion!"

"I said... he doesn't pay me any attention any more!"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

'I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, Frank!'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Boyfriend of the Month.

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"My computer just texted me."

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'