Relationship Experts Mugs

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

The causes of mood swings are generally hormonal..

'Yes, I've heard long-married couples tend to look alike, but I'm not sure about the dress alike part.'

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

"This time, she went too far."

"We used to finish each other's sentences; now we start them."

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Mavis, why do you always say it's nothing when clearly it's something?"

'Two can live as cheaply as one, but I refuse to live with a cheapskate.'

Advertising hoarding proposing marriage (which is rejected).

'You're sexy when your mind is somewhere else.'

'This is my wife, Viola, who I've been happily married to for twenty five years.'

'My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate, so I got two girlfriends.'

"Objection overruled."

"Surely I'm allowed an opinion!"

"I said... he doesn't pay me any attention any more!"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Try Mediation

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"My computer just texted me."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Boyfriend of the Month.

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'You've changed since we got married.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

Preying mantis marriage councellor.

Hollywood Breakup