Modern Relationship Expert Gifts

'Now comes the hard part. . . who gets which facebook friends. . .'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

Boyfriend of the Month.

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

Preying mantis marriage councellor.

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

The Stages of Wine

Express Therapy

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

'There are lots of fish in the sea.'

"Just tell us who's winning."

"Does it say 'I'm ovulating'?"

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"All parents fight."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

Online Dating for Dummies

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'