Long-term Love Navigator Pillows

'We've been thru a lot together.'

"Focus, Gerald, focus!"

In the Guru District

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'Great Therapy!'

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

Reading the sports pages.

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'