Long Service Legend Gifts

"In recognition of your long service, we'd like you to have this clock you've had your eye on since you walked in here all those years ago."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Since being semi-retired everything I do is half-assed."

Hanging off every word...

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

Team Leader

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

'My predecessor left some big shoes to fill.'

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

"His goal is to outlive rock and roll!"

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

The Waiter

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

'Well, do you want to sign up or not?' - 'Um...yes and no.'

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

"And, after they see you do this, the 'promised land' can be whatever you say it is."

'I've been transferred again.'

Dead Silence: a restaurant for married people

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"Remember, as employees here at Auto y Rod Inc., I expect you to set a good example!"

'FYI, Stevens, nobody likes a middle-aged slacker.'

"Yeah you've always been loyal, so what? You're fired."