Long Service Legend Gifts

"In recognition of your long service, we'd like you to have this clock you've had your eye on since you walked in here all those years ago."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Since being semi-retired everything I do is half-assed."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Hanging off every word...

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

Team Leader

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

'My predecessor left some big shoes to fill.'

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"His goal is to outlive rock and roll!"

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

The Waiter

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

'Well, do you want to sign up or not?' - 'Um...yes and no.'

"And, after they see you do this, the 'promised land' can be whatever you say it is."

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

'I've been transferred again.'

Dead Silence: a restaurant for married people

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"Remember, as employees here at Auto y Rod Inc., I expect you to set a good example!"

'FYI, Stevens, nobody likes a middle-aged slacker.'

"We need a miracle. Who runs that department?"