Long Service Award Gifts

"In recognition of your long service, we'd like you to have this clock you've had your eye on since you walked in here all those years ago."

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Infantry.

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Wow! You do have a triple A membership!"

"That's my dad back when he was, like, militarized."

"This one is for not complaining about stretched too thin handling domestic and foreign crises."

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

Bad News

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

"We're striking for minimum levels of service."

"Next to my two years in the Marines, you're the best thing I've ever done."

"I bet you miss your brother."

Base chapel.

Budget Cuts Guillotine: Next!

Henry was hoping nobody would notice that he had lost his helmet...'

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

Retired Command Sgt. Maj. Basil L. Plumley 1920-2012.

Republicans have me feeling reflective about capitalism, in a good way. Uh, oh. You've been with the company 20 years. I appreciate that kind of loyalty. I just want you to know that. Thanks. It also makes me realize that you have few other job options and thus are more or less subject to my whims regarding pay and benefits. Okay, pep talk over. Enjoy your day. Hang on, I could maybe possibly get a job at Coffee King!

Patience Tested While You Wait.

'This one is for 'don't ask, don't tell', and this new one is for asking and telling.'

'75% of our resources are spent dealing with the elderly and infirm...and that's just the STAFF!'

Place setting with stars

'And then there's Jeffries... He's been with the company longer than anyone. You know where all the bodies are buried, eh, Jeffries? Ha Ha! Keep up the great work!'

London underground talks continued

"I'm out of space – can you pin it on Pinterest?"

"Let's go for a crewcut to salute our tremendous military."

Memorial Day

'I'll have the hero sandwich.'

'This restaurant is great They always keep my water glass full,'

'Uhm... Independence Day fireworks? Well...our war plane crew believed they were taking fire from anti-aircraft weapons...ain't that funny?'

'Congratulations on winning the Triple Crown.'

"- And then I get these overwhelming desires to make love to a man in uniform...."