Long-haul Legend Gifts

Truck scale to weigh the truck as well as a 'trucker scale' to weigh the driver

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"Since being semi-retired everything I do is half-assed."

"The knights of the round accent table"

Jack London

"We need rain."

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

"Look, we're three thousand years old. No one's going to hire us."

Mom and Dad Really Lose It - 1/4 Mile.

'I've been transferred again.'

Tragedy and Material

"In recognition of your long service, we'd like you to have this clock you've had your eye on since you walked in here all those years ago."

Lancelot put to the Test.

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

"So that's Ireland."

Late Night TV

Korney Ivanovich Chukovsky

'FYI, Stevens, nobody likes a middle-aged slacker.'

"Thanks, but there's really nothing to do while the meat's smoking."

'It isn't polite to point.'

"Love them rays, Chief."

Airport: Frequent Lost Luggage Desk.

Fisherman takes home the mermaid he caught.

'Well, Mrs. Farnsworth, I'm afraid you've got Druids!'

"Let me try that!"

Mary Shelley

'Do you always steal from the rich?'

'Cattle Driver.'

The Ekert Saga: '...We'll be safe...as long as the Ekert is kept in the sacred vessel of nay-chaw. And he has to stay in theah until we find the anti-Ekert.'

'If it hasn't gone away in a couple of weeks, come back and see me.'