Little Theologian Gifts

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"We only got six days of funding."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Moses' Tablet

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Ghostwriting the Bible

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

Playdough's The Republic

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You call this a constitution?"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

At the 2021 Religious Games

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"