Little Theologian Gifts

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"We only got six days of funding."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

Ghostwriting the Bible

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Moses' Tablet

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

Playdough's The Republic

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"You call this a constitution?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

At the 2021 Religious Games

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'