Tiny Theologian Gifts

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

'Hey, God - it's me, Freddie! But You already knew that, right?'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

Jr. cloning kit

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

Hot cross buns

"What would you recommend to hold a seven-year-old girl's attention in a car from East Seventy-eighth Street to Bridgehampton?"

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

The Book Club

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

"They think I don't have a clue."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

'I draw on the walls and get time out. They do it and get famous!'

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

'I understand how I was born; I want to know why.'

"Miss Peterson, may I go home? I can't assimilate any more data today."

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."