Tiny Philosopher Gifts

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

'He's at that difficult age. Too little to be a hunk and too young to be a couch potatoe.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

Pigeon Little

Playdough's The Republic

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

Reverse psychology

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

A young positivist.

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

Life on Earth - maths advice.

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."