Tiny Philosopher Pillows

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

'He's at that difficult age. Too little to be a hunk and too young to be a couch potatoe.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

Pigeon Little

Playdough's The Republic

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

'This test doesn't understand me.'

Reverse psychology

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

A young positivist.

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

I disturbed the class by talking in my sleep.

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"