Fun-sized Philosopher Gifts

"What are you going to do when you become enormous?"

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

Pigeon Little

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Playdough's The Republic

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

'This test doesn't understand me.'

Reverse psychology

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

Philosopher trading cards.

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

A young positivist.

Hamlet in the craft shop.

Kids playing with the cardboard box instead of the expensive toys.