Fun-sized Philosopher T-Shirts

"What are you going to do when you become enormous?"

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

Pigeon Little

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Playdough's The Republic

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'This test doesn't understand me.'

Reverse psychology

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Philosopher trading cards.

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

Hamlet in the craft shop.

A young positivist.

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'