Pint-sized Philosophers Gifts

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

Sun Flower.

"It's the poor artist who blames his crayons."

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Power/Expenditures

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

'If you get educational toys, do you still have to go to school?'

"They think I don't have a clue."

'May I have a moment of your time? I'd like to tell you about a plan my bank has for your IRA...'

'But if night falls, why does day break?'

'Well, that answers that age-old question. According to the tape, the chicken came first. . . which brings up another age-old question: is the last one a rotten egg?'

Can we see our way clear to doing something about air pollution?

'Time? Time's relative.'

Descartes' dog.

"And the Haves, you might say, are divided into the Gives and Give Nots."

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

Exercise and diet at the same time - open and close your refrigerator door 100 times.

'So there's a fly in your beer — why begrudge a fellow creature a little happiness?'

The hardest instrument to play second fiddle.

'Dad, I need to talk to you about my investment portfolio.'

"NOW are you ready to renounce your sinful ways?"

Baby playing a piano in it's pram

The Broken Clock That Is Wrong Twice A Day

Painting and Decorating

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

'I know 24 ways to kill a man - add another if I don't get a drink.'

"Do you realize that they pay our teacher to come to school every day and we do it for free?"

'My dad always told me, 'love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe'.'