Little Scholar Gifts

'It's all part of a diabolical plot to get me to do my homework!'

"I don't go to school. I'm getting my kindergarten degree online."

Slumpy the economic indicator for kids

'Someday I'll go to school like the big kids!'

'Is there a secret handshake or anything I should know?'

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Did you know I have 3000 bones in my body?'

'I got an 'F' in penmanship, but it doesn't matter. I plan on becoming a doctor.'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

Back to School

"Yes, you should have studied harder and no, you can't unsubscribe from 5th grade."

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Playdough's The Republic

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

A young positivist.

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

"Finally...school starts next week."

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."