Little Scholar Gifts

'It's all part of a diabolical plot to get me to do my homework!'

"I don't go to school. I'm getting my kindergarten degree online."

Slumpy the economic indicator for kids

'Someday I'll go to school like the big kids!'

'Is there a secret handshake or anything I should know?'

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Did you know I have 3000 bones in my body?'

'I got an 'F' in penmanship, but it doesn't matter. I plan on becoming a doctor.'

"I am studying the alphabet. I'm watching ABC."

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

Back to School

"Yes, you should have studied harder and no, you can't unsubscribe from 5th grade."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

Playdough's The Republic

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

A young positivist.

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"Finally...school starts next week."

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."