Little Learners Gifts

"Do you think our parents are too pushy?"

TV and boy

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"I'm still pre-literate."

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'I did it all from memory.'

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

Education and Apprenticeships

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

'To better prepare you for the future, I've replaced the letters in your alphabet soup with Chinese ones.'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

'I got an 'F' in penmanship, but it doesn't matter. I plan on becoming a doctor.'

Student about Biz Quick class: 'It's bite-size information in a 15 minute class that teaches you how to roll in the dough.'

'Books are okay, except they only get one channel.'

The Book Club

'If you get educational toys, do you still have to go to school?'

'I invested in a completely new economic system for the country, but the instructions are in japanese.'

Back to School

'Did you know I have 3000 bones in my body?'

"Omnipotent?! I thought you said impotent. And you're out of wished, too."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'Timmy's very bright for his age. He knows nearly all his ABC's!'

'It's nice that you've learned to tie your shoes, but you're really too young to quit while you're ahead.'

'Is there a secret handshake or anything I should know?'