Lil' Learner Gifts

'It's nice that you've learned to tie your shoes, but you're really too young to quit while you're ahead.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"I'm still pre-literate."

'I did it all from memory.'

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

Education and Apprenticeships

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

'To better prepare you for the future, I've replaced the letters in your alphabet soup with Chinese ones.'

Student about Biz Quick class: 'It's bite-size information in a 15 minute class that teaches you how to roll in the dough.'

University of Hard Knocks

'I got an 'F' in penmanship, but it doesn't matter. I plan on becoming a doctor.'

'OK Sheldon - which part of the Unified Field Theory do you not understand?'

I see we have the same summer reading list. ABC.

'Music hath charms,' &c.

'What did you learn at university today?'

"I am studying the alphabet. I'm watching ABC."