Young Theologian Gifts

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

Girl with Bible.

"Are you saying my faith is a crutch?"

"Whew! I was afraid the Bible would be full of math since God told us to go forth and multiply."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

Boy and girl at thier studies

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Could I ask just one question?"

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

Hot cross buns

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"Finally...school starts next week."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."