Young Chronicler Gifts

"I'm taking detailed notes of everything, so I can tell my kids what things were really like when I was their age."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"Someday you'll see my work in the employee break room at the Met."

I need to set upmy own company.

"Gracie, what does a little girl like you wish for? I mean, besides being a doctor, a motivational speaker, a great parent and becoming president?"

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"Finally...school starts next week."

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

'Your life story?....why not, the world is in need of a few good laughs!'

Wedding Selfie

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

'I flunked English, but I got an A for blogging.'

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

"This grade doesn't fit into my five-year plan!"

When it comes to texting, she's all thumbs.'

"And I'd recommend this book to anyone in the market for a free plush toy."

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

So tell me, Junior.

"I want an eponymous retail empire when I grow up, Greg. What do you want?"

"I was master of all I surveyed... then they hit me with second grade."

"I got an A+ on my math test! I'm updating my resume."

"Some people call this an elementary school. Not me. I call it pre-med."

"Oh, it's not a baby book, it's his memoirs."

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

"I can't wait until we're older so we can get into the cannabis industry. At least then we can make a difference in people's lives."