Junior Theologians Gifts

"I know I should love my neighbor as myself, but he isn't my neighbor!"

Boy and girl at thier studies

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

MUM! No one wanted to buy my cowpats

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

The truth about the expulsion from paradise. . .

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

Adam and Eve Arrested

'Let there be cool.'

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

'I don't mind school, but I'm really tired of the commute.'

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

Two of everything on Noah's ark.

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

'I downloaded them from heaven.'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Do you have any preexisting conditions, like sloth, gluttony, pride, lust...'

Some catholic like it hot

"It was at this point St. Paul felt like he could not catch a break!"

"Whew! I was afraid the Bible would be full of math since God told us to go forth and multiply."