Linguistic Puzzle Fan Gifts

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

Danth battle?

"Hair spray"

"That's not what I meant by changing gear, Mrs.Robinson!"

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

'Think about it: If we blow up the bridge, they'll have to swim across again...'

'Look a huge bird!'

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

(Gallerie Martorelli) (Art-Babble spoken here)

'Kindly explain to His Majesty that I didn't mean 'nincompoop' in the pejorative sense.'

Correct Spelling Lane.

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University. Seriously? Nobody's going to go to a psychologist who's got a diploma from some random online college. And psychologists have to have a whole arsenal of treatments. They can't just use reverse psychology for everything. So what you're reverse-saying is, I'll be sought-after and highly effective. No that's ... ok, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.

"You arrive early, You work hard, You stay focused. What's your game?"

Things we rarely hear: Bow...er...wow...er..um...woof/like tweet, I mean, y'know, tweet/whatchamacallit moo...

Palindromedary.

"And look sir - here's another interesting derivative of that phrase..."

Tom Bowler

'Think about it: If you eat me now, you won't get an egg every day...'

"Can you recommend a good exercise program?"

"I knew it was just a matter of time before the sheep hit the fan."

'I just want to know why you think that I didn't know that you knew that I didn't know what you meant? Hmmmmm?

'You mean to ssssay we have sssspeach imedimentssss?'

Tic tac toe.

Board on Baby

"Well, if everybody does it, it must be o.k."

Geographic Oddities. It defies logic, but Little Rock is a bigger city than Boulder.

Inn and Outt.

'Are you choking or are you serious?'

"Okay people, pagers, beepers, and cell phones ON."

"He's on your 'personal computer'. . . his name is Norman and he's really good at mental arithmetic."

Chicken and egg in a waiting room: 'Who was first?'

'According to the surveys nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot...'