Linguistic Prodigy Fan Gifts

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"It lost a little something in translation."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"I stand corrected."

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

Staff Yearbook

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

'Do it write the first time.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

"Hair spray"

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"They're home...the party's over!"

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

Danth battle?

"I was punctuating sentences long before you guys came along!"

"That's not what I meant by changing gear, Mrs.Robinson!"

Scouse For Beginners

Proof Reading

Spellng Bee

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

For Pete's sake, Shirley, stop acting so smug about "getting carded." We were in a library.

Oxford Lexicon of Excuses for Bad Grammar and Faulty Spelling.

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

A tour guide speaks in hieroglyphs,

Exclamation Marks Chasing the Question Mark.

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'