Linguistic Prodigy Fan Pillows

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"It lost a little something in translation."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"I stand corrected."

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

Staff Yearbook

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'Do it write the first time.'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

"They're home...the party's over!"

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"Hair spray"

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

Danth battle?

"I was punctuating sentences long before you guys came along!"

"That's not what I meant by changing gear, Mrs.Robinson!"

Proof Reading

Spellng Bee

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

Scouse For Beginners

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

Exclamation Marks Chasing the Question Mark.

A tour guide speaks in hieroglyphs,

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

"He spent all morning trying to teach me my own name."