Linguistic Fanatic Gifts

"Oh no! The dog's eaten the Thesaurus"

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"Hair spray"

When a speaker says '...to make a long story short,' you've already been there 3 hours.

The Oxford Comma Coin

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Mr Punch's Illustrations to Shakspeare.

A General tries to get rid of peace.

'Well? - Now that we've learned to talk, aren't you going to admit that you were wrong?'

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

'Kindly explain to His Majesty that I didn't mean 'nincompoop' in the pejorative sense.'

Correct Spelling Lane.

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

(Gallerie Martorelli) (Art-Babble spoken here)

Barbed Pen

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

"He's a fine talker, but can you understand Portuguese?"

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

Business School - Center for the Study of Mumbo Jumbo - 3rd Floor.

"Mom, Dad, sis-I'm not like you. I'm-I'm not a palindrome."