Linguistic Puzzle Lover Gifts

'I just want to know why you think that I didn't know that you knew that I didn't know what you meant? Hmmmmm?

'Shroffing the piefort proved it was a fido.'

Can You Spot the Differences?

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

The Oxford Comma Coin

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

Monosyllabic Crisis Center

"Not that kind of hare, Rapunzel!"

'Well? - Now that we've learned to talk, aren't you going to admit that you were wrong?'

'New career low - gave out a page of Ulysses to my freshmen and they thought it was a wordsearch.'

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

It was a match made in heaven.

Barbed Pen

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

"Mom, Dad, sis-I'm not like you. I'm-I'm not a palindrome."

Business School - Center for the Study of Mumbo Jumbo - 3rd Floor.

'The only thing we have in common is that we're in love with the same woman.'

"Is it ne'er do wells, or ne'ers do well?"

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

Exclamation Marks chasing the Question Mark.

'The problem with working with pirates is understanding them: They talk really strangely...'

"What the heck does 'gnark gort' mean? Maybe I should come back when you learn speech."

Overly wordy travel.

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."

Simultaneous translation.

Dislecksick Sipport Grewp.h